A few things I rarely used to say prior to parenthood

Get your hand out of your crotch.
Don't go head first.
Wow! What a burp!
What is this fruit-like substance in your hair?
What a good poop!
Can you please brush your teeth?
What are you sitting in?!
Where's my brush??
Drink your milk.
Please don't put your foot/hand/toothbrush/Nuk/toy in your poop.
We don't eat crayons.

Turning 40

Posted By Stace.....

When the (&(^$%$#$!(*(*^*&^%%^!! did I get old?

I don't feel that old. And to be fair, I don't think that 40 is old, but still, that's really only because I am now 40. What the (&*^%$@!?

I have been wearing glasses since kindegarten, and bifocals for some decade now, so vision has always been an issue for me. But today, I was outside sitting with my back to the sun, trying to read a wonderful book by A.J. Jacobs, The Year of Living Biblically, and I cannot do it because the paper is far too brilliant in the sun. Ok, so I swipe Kev's sunglasses and force them onto my head over my glasses. Well, they don't fit this way and continue to slip off the tip of my nose. I hold them up with my forefinger.

I read very slowly due to being highly distractible and only read especially well in environments that are completely quiet (or maybe with classical music that lacks vocals), or unless the book is particularly easy. But when I am trying to absorb it all without skimming, I need, literally, no distractions. Otherwise, I will reread a paragraph 4 times without retention.

Now, I can see not only the outlines of my own glasses, which I always see, but which I have become adjusted to, but now, I also see the outlines of the sunglasses. This makes me feel that there is a much more limited space in which to see the words on the page - true or not, I am unsure, but this is my belief, and it bugs me, becoming another distraction for me while I am trying to read.

I take off my reading glasses, because in the past with a little extra effort, I could still read without them. I pop on the sunglasses. This is better in terms of light and peripheral visual distractions. However, the words are jumping all over the *^^&^%#%$ page and I'm uncertain that "extra effort" will be sufficient. I move the book out an arm's length. The focus is slightly better but the words are still traveling all over the page - I'll never keep my place.

I put my reading glasses back on under the sunglasses, and think - honestly - that what I need is a pair of those cheap wrap around sunglass visor thingies that only people in their 60's wear, and those returning home from a visit to the optomotrist.

Ultimately, I wind up going indoors 'cause it's too hot for this ol girl.

Spouting Off

Posted by Stace....

One of my friends reported that he doesn't really subscribe to personal blogs because "it's just people spouting off". I liked that so much that I seriously thought about creating my own blog entitled The Spout. It seems like the perfect name for me and my mouth, I think. One day maybe I'll create it.

Been thinking about marketing my private practice in this town of 36 mental health practitioners. (Mind you, the population is 17,000 - which includes those in 2 colleges.) Competition, while not necessarily equal in a variety of ways, is still stiff.

I have some marketing ideas, some good catchy ads to place here and there. But sadly, the very best marketing phrase cannot be used without alienating the "older", more established therapists. Still, I think it is a stunning ad to place in this small town, and it must be expressed in one way or another, and so I share it here:

For your therapy needs, see Stacey -
because she doesn't know your mom.

No

Posted by Stace....

Holding Henry this morning, I created a lovely mixture of banana, mango and whole-milk-cream- on-top yogurt (the latter by itself is fantastic). He watched intently and then I lifted up a spoonful and he clearly and matter a factly said, "no". I think he might have opted to share his opinions 2 minutes earlier to save me the trouble, but whatever. I'm completely willing to put it on his highchair tray for him anyway and see what he does with it, and in this very special case, he chooses to eat it. Yea for mom.

Yesterday, he was disappointed with the peanut butter that I very sparingly put on his jelly slathered pita and after pushing it as far away as he could while it still remaining on his tray, he decided to start dumping it on the floor, all the while repeating, "no, no, no". I reported to him that this behavior is definitely not appreciated, went over to clean up, and as I did, felt something hit the back of my head.

What do you say?

Posted by Kevin......

Several nights ago, I was reading bed time stories to Henry before putting him down for the night. Stace was down stairs....gasp!....watching TV!

In all fairness, Great Performances was on PBS. It was CHESS......you know, the musical. ("One night in Bangkok...." )

Anyway, between books, I asked Henry for his full repertoire of words he can communicate to me. It usually starts with:

Me: "What does a cow say?"
Henry: "Mooooo."

"What does a monkey say?"
"Oooo, oooo, oooo!"

After a few more animals I say, "Up." and he points to the ceiling and says "UPah!"
"Can you say BOOK?" Instead, I get the sign language for book....his hands pressed flat together, then opened like a book. "Yea Henry." I say, and now he claps.

"What does a big truck say?" "Varoooom" is the response."

Then I have him point to body parts: eyes, nose, mouth, ears, hair, toes, fingers, and of course BELLYBUTTON! I'm surprised to discover he knows the different between his fingers and his hands, and his toes and his feet.

He loves to say oh-oh and uh-uh, but now he signs "yes" a lot too. He also says "tank" when you give him something.

For over a month, he's been repeating the word "a-Latoya". I assumed he was wondering whatever happened to Janet Jackson's older sister. Well who doesn't.

But it dawned on me Henry might be saying a phrase. Yes, it's something he hears frequently in our house hold.

While he was flipping quickly through the pages of a book, I said, "Henry, can you say I Love You?" He did not respond.

I leaned away for a split second to get another book and, when I looked back, Henry was leaning toward me with his lips puckered! The look on his face said, "Well, I'm WAITING!" I gave him a big kiss and yelled "Yea Henry. I love you too!"