clothes closet experience

(This is a repeat from my FB page)

Today I was at the clothes closet looking for sweaters to cut up and make into mittens.  While I was there a woman walked in and informed the cashiers that she had a "meeting with Sharon" at the Community Action Center later today, and would be picking out some clothes.  (For those of you who aren't aware, what presumably was occurring was that the customer was informing the cashiers that when she met with Sharon she would be receiving funds that she could then spend on clothes and household items from the clothes closet - and was there picking out what she needed.)  At that time, she noticed a doll on the cashier's counter, she fell in love with it, inquired about the price, found out that it cost $5, and reported to the cashier that she wanted it.  The cashier, much to my chagrin and disappointment, said loudly so that everyone could hear, "I don't think Sharon is going to let you buy a doll."

The customer didn't seem bothered at all by this, while I was fuming.  While I believe wholeheartedly that the cashier wasn't necessarily trying to be rude, she also wasn't at all thoughtful of the impact of her words - or what I thought the impact might be.  The customer reported that she would somehow find the money, and then later, before she left for her meeting she said less enthusiastically than she had been earlier that if someone else wanted the doll while she was gone, they could go ahead and sell it. 

I purchased my sweaters and left.  Fussed.  I went to the bank to continue my errands, and on my way I grumbled about the fact that the cashier seemed to have no qualms about announcing to the customer and everyone else in the store that the customer didn't have power like others, that the money that she would get came with conditions.  Basically, it didn’t matter how much she liked that doll, she wasn’t going to be the one who got to decide whether or not she could have it.

I’ve worked with poor people and seen how they are treated within the system, and overall , it’s disappointing and disparaging.  It certainly isn’t always, but more often than not, it is.  The most frustrating part for me is observing how the customer stops taking notice to the disrespectful way they are treated, as if it’s normal.  Well, I suppose that is because they are accustomed to being treated this way.

I remember having to go on WIC after Henry was born, and having some less than stellar experiences. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about this woman and that doll – which, by the way, was in my opinion, one seriously ugly doll.  That was the only part of this whole story that really brought me pleasure – that this doll was creepy – but by God, that woman really loved her.  I knew that the cashier was overstepping her boundary as she felt the need to monitor how CAC money is spent, and I knew that she was also correct that the money would be meant for household items or clothing. 

I drove back to the clothes closet, walked in and bought that crazy creepy doll, and told the cashiers to hold it for the customer.  I’d love to say it was because I’m an awesomely wonderful neighbor, but I did it because it’s so ridiculously uncool, unprofessional, and crazy disrespectful to remind people of their poverty (as if they might forget) and how they are considered powerless in our society because of it.  I bought that butt-ugly doll because the cashier appeared so careless in announcing to everyone there that this customer had to answer to someone else.  It was actually a total cop out, to be honest, because I would’ve liked to have had the guts to say all of this to the cashier.