Possum Country Part 1

There is a gargantuan possum living nearby. I saw her a couple weeks ago loping between out and our neighbor's fence - giant, gray, rat tail, pointed snout. It was 5:30 in the afternoon, and I thought what in the world is a rodent doing out in the -- and then I realized, she must be full of a litter of rodents and looking for food. Great! A pregnant possum. A week later, I saw her again, in the daylight, and I rattled my tin pie pans at her -- because, and I hate to digress here, but I am fighting a neverending, never winning battle with grackles - and the pie pans are currently my only defense. Unfortunately, now all birds hate me, and as a result I have pie pans nearby the door. Anyhoo - I rattle at Mama Possum who quickens her pace - just a little - behind the shed and I think HOLY NIGHT when I don't see her emerge from the other side!!!!!!

I step outside.

And, that's about when I see fur and little feet sticking out from behind a tree above my shed. Holy night, she climbed the tree, I think - but only to about 6-7 feet, because probably all the way up she was cursing the rodent that knocked her up and now she has to haul her entire family up a tree - just far enough to be just barely out of reach from this nutty yacking mammal who is making a frigging racket with her pie pans. I walk under our apple tree - still giving her plenty of distance, but am now in line with her, and she peers around the tree at me. We stare at each other, sizing one another up. She is totally going to win this battle, I know that, because what am I going to do? Rattle my pie pans at her? And, she is probably thinking that she has won this battle, because what is this chick gonna do, rattle her pie pans at the tree?? So, we are both right. But something interesting occurs in the process.

She stares at me, gravity probably working against her and pulling on her and she is probably cursing me for the needless climbing - but she holds her tree and peers around at me. She doesn't hiss (in my opinion there are 2 animals in this world who have the right to hiss - cats and snakes, and Canada geese and possums are freaks of nature in this way), she doesn't show me her sharpy teeth. She just looks at me willing me and my pans to go away, and I stare back at her masked face, willing her to go away, and thinking - her face is kind of cute, she has a nice whitish mask on her relatively small face. Mind you - I HATE POSSUM - they creep me out. But, I leave her, as I have no other choice, and as I watch her from my kitchen window, she, slow as molasses, climbs down the tree and continues to mosey onward.

The Bored

posted by Gwenevere

Because this is posted on the internet, I cannot say what Board I am referring to, but I think those of you who know me can accurately guess what I am talking about. I belong to a Board of people who determine -- well, I don't actually know, other than ethics and what I have to pay for various licensures they want me to have, and for which they set innumerable rules and criteria... Some of you know that in the past I have had "a few issues" with the Board, and recently I had to call them to ask some questions regarding my recertification. Because of past traumatic phone conversations with staff at the Board, I tend to get a little anxious prior to calling and need to do some deep breathing and visualization (I'm kidding, the deep breathing is usually enough until after the call when laying down in a fetal position for about an hour as I remind myself that I am loved and capable is typically required).

So, I mustered up the courage to call and I reached a lovely woman who told me that no, taking a class won't count toward independent study hours, that count as continuing education units (ceu's), but reading books or taking online classes do. I said to her, no, I didn't "take the class - I taught it" - thinking surely teaching a class must count for something - and yes, wondering what the heck - reading books counts as independent study?? Good golly, I read like a madwoman, and Amazon can verify this if needed - but I have a sneaking suspicion that convincing the Board of that ain't gonna be easy... She says to me - and I quote: "Oh, you taught the class? Well, aren't you the overachiever." And she laughed.

Did I mention that I have never met this woman? Did I mention that I have had issues with the Board before? Did I mention that I tend to get anxious before I have contact with them? Maybe you are understanding a little more now. For one moment I questioned myself, my tone, my mood on the phone - wondering what I might have said to instigate a response like that, but then I quickly remembered who I was talking to and the fact that I am in Minnesota and sometimees you just get totally weird responses like this, and thought: Yes (*&*%^%$%@!, in fact, you have no (&(^&#%@!!@ idea. But I laughed with her and simply said, "Yep."

Where does the television set go?

posted by Stace

Well, as some of you know, before I met Kevin I did not own a tv set, and before that I kept it in a closet -- potentially the only person on the planet who kept her tv in a closet and would "pull it out when she needed it". One brilliant friend of mine - with a PhD to prove it - even called me "superior" for not having a tv set -- and doncha know, I have never forgotten that -- although I think she said it sarcastically... it was Randi after all... Anyhoo, I digress. The tv. When Kevin and I agreed to marry, one condition was that the tv would never be a central point in our home. And so it wasn't. Until a few months ago when it "had to be moved" as we are working on drywalling and painting the basement. And so that is how the tv found a "temporary home" in our living room. Being naive and stupid, I thought this meant we would actually be "working" in the basement - which by the way has yet to be drywalled and painted. Well, we didn't - and the basement goes unworked on, and quite frankly, rather unused these days. It seems to be the place we go to occasionally for clean clothing, and for cats to go to yack.

Maybe it was an unconscious realization that I figured if renovating the downstairs meant displacing the tv, then maybe reorganizing the upstairs would also mean that the tv would find a new home - looking back on it I wonder, where did I imagine it might go next? Maybe on the front porch... Or, dare I say it, maybe it was a shockingly passive move on my part, but today I rearranged the furniture in the living room - and aghast - there is no space allotted for the tv! What in the world was I thinking?

Well, whatever I was thinking - the tv now has a new "temporary home" in the middle of the living room - which is a little like it being "central" - don'cha think?? It really is only temporary though. And, despite what I like to portray, I actually am not totally anti-tv. I fully support some of the good channels and am beginning to think about getting those kids channels that don't have commercials if we have a kid -- those do exist don't they?? Anyway, I don't see myself as much of a pioneer these days as I suspect there is more than one house on any random block with a tv in the middle of their living room. sigh.