School

Henny and I were driving to school yesterday when he announced,
"I not going to cry today."
Ok, I thought. The last time we got to school he was very distraught over my leaving (which then left me very distraught), and so he must have been thinking about this.

"Ok, honey," I say, "you don't have to cry, but you know, it's ok if you do."
"I not cry."
"Ok, baby. I love you."
"I love you too." He replied.

We arrived and carried all of our stuff in the building, down the hall, and into his room.
I began to take off all his winter gear as the kids are told that it's snack time.
"Ooo, it's snack time, Hen." I say hoping to entice him.
I steal a look at him as I yank off a boot and watch where he places his socked foot so that it doesn't land in a puddle of melted snow, and he appears apprehensive. He starts to growl.
He does this when he is uncertain. Growl, or make funny faces, or gently smack my leg as he tells me not to do something I am doing that is either bringing him attention or embarrassing him in some way.

I give him a hug and kiss and tell him to have a good day, and I look at him.
His face is puffy, he looks terrified and uncertain and unhappy, his breathing is a little unsteady.
"Come here," I say putting my arms out afraid he's going to see that I'm looking puffy, terrified, uncertain, unhappy and about to breathe funny - "give Mama another hug and kiss."

He gives me a long kiss and hug. Then he turns his back to me, swipes his arm over his eyes, and says, "goodbye."

My brave big kid.