The (other) Son Also Rises
Posted by Kevin......
Such rigmarole, I must say. Getting Henry to bed may seem like trying to push water up a hill.
However, some optimism must be maintained. Our home life appears much like The House of the "Unslept". But at least a quarter of the people living here sleep quite well. Of course I'm talking about Walter.
(I'm not including the cats in this assessment because, a. they are not people, b. I hate them, c. they sleep on my bed more than I do, which I resent. A lot.)
You see, Walter can do no wrong. No, really. He is 6 months old, so technically speaking he can't deliberately do anything that is wrong. He is currently the only person on the planet that can spit apple sauce in my face and have me say, "Oh sweetie pie. Do you not like that? Let me get you something else."
As I hold him close, copious amounts of drool flow down my shirt. "Oh sweetie pie. That's okay. Let me get a burp cloth."
He is a good napper. As soon as he is rubbing his eyes I put him in his Graco Swingset and he is out. And when he is not napping, he will lie on his play mat and grab at the surprising scary looking stuffed toys hanging by their necks from a soft crossbar.
Or he is content to sit in his Exer-Saucer, presumably totally "blasting his quads" and getting "ripped abs". This sounds awful, but is necessary if he is going to get that football scholarship to OSU*.
Such rigmarole, I must say. Getting Henry to bed may seem like trying to push water up a hill.
However, some optimism must be maintained. Our home life appears much like The House of the "Unslept". But at least a quarter of the people living here sleep quite well. Of course I'm talking about Walter.
(I'm not including the cats in this assessment because, a. they are not people, b. I hate them, c. they sleep on my bed more than I do, which I resent. A lot.)
You see, Walter can do no wrong. No, really. He is 6 months old, so technically speaking he can't deliberately do anything that is wrong. He is currently the only person on the planet that can spit apple sauce in my face and have me say, "Oh sweetie pie. Do you not like that? Let me get you something else."
As I hold him close, copious amounts of drool flow down my shirt. "Oh sweetie pie. That's okay. Let me get a burp cloth."
He is a good napper. As soon as he is rubbing his eyes I put him in his Graco Swingset and he is out. And when he is not napping, he will lie on his play mat and grab at the surprising scary looking stuffed toys hanging by their necks from a soft crossbar.
Or he is content to sit in his Exer-Saucer, presumably totally "blasting his quads" and getting "ripped abs". This sounds awful, but is necessary if he is going to get that football scholarship to OSU*.
*GO BUCKS!
The only problem is that he is done sleeping for the night around 5:47am. It is at this time that he rises (or rolls and kicks really....he is 6 months old) and lets out a series of "OOOOH AAAAAH" announcing he is ready to begin his day with vigor, and his expectation of his family is nothing less.
My expectations are, sadly......less.
With my eyes closed, I plead with Stace to get up and "shush" Walter back to sleep. Of course, Stace has "stolen away" to the kitchen to start her own blissful morning routine by starting the coffee pot and hovering over it, giant mug in hand, waiting for that first......precious......drop.
I then realize she has been replaced by a 2 and 3/4 year old boy named Henry, who himself has a morning routine. It's called "Sneaking out of bed at 3am and wedging myself between Momma and Daddy".
Henry is none too pleased by Walter being a "morning person" and now Daddy as the unenviable task of "shushing down" a cooing infant AND a cranky toddler.
And by "shushing down" I mean: "Alright guys. It's still dark. Go back to sleep now. Please? SLEEP NOW! Go......back.....to......SLEEEEEEP! Wait, is that coffee?"
My expectations are, sadly......less.
With my eyes closed, I plead with Stace to get up and "shush" Walter back to sleep. Of course, Stace has "stolen away" to the kitchen to start her own blissful morning routine by starting the coffee pot and hovering over it, giant mug in hand, waiting for that first......precious......drop.
I then realize she has been replaced by a 2 and 3/4 year old boy named Henry, who himself has a morning routine. It's called "Sneaking out of bed at 3am and wedging myself between Momma and Daddy".
Henry is none too pleased by Walter being a "morning person" and now Daddy as the unenviable task of "shushing down" a cooing infant AND a cranky toddler.
And by "shushing down" I mean: "Alright guys. It's still dark. Go back to sleep now. Please? SLEEP NOW! Go......back.....to......SLEEEEEEP! Wait, is that coffee?"
posted by Kevin and Stace @ 9:41 AM
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