Things I won't post on Facebook

posted by Kevin......

• "I'm totally diggin' this iced Mocha Frappuccino with whipped cream right now."

Even if I drank such a thing, really does anyone care that 5 hours ago I was sitting in a trendy chain coffee shop with nothing better to do than "Facebook" my "status".

• "I'm in a Lithuanian prison and need money for bail. Please help."

My last 5 vacations have been to Wisconsin and Michigan. I'm too cheap to go to Missouri much less eastern Europe, if that is where this so called "Lithuania" is. Maybe I won a contest or something.....but really it's NOT ME.

• "I'm in jail in Fargo and need money for bail. Please help."

Okay, fair enough. Could be true. But I deserved it so it's best to let me get myself out of this predicament.

• "I know this Mom who used this secret trick to lose weight."

I'll tell you her secret right now.....eat well and go to a gym. Yep, it's out there now. Nice to get that off my chest.

• Kevin thinks you're stupid. Compare your IQ with his.

My IQ is 138.....which only means I'm good at taking IQ tests. Feel free to compare IQ if that's something you feel you need to do. Keep in mind I get lost driving to the grocery store.

• Kevin has lost something in Farmville.

There is actually a small town in central Virginia named Farmville. But the only thing I ever lost there was 30 minutes of my life when I took the wrong exit off of Hwy. 460.

• "As I watched the sunset, I felt sad for the expectations of this day are now lost forever."

Bunches o' Sap! Sappy covered sap with a sappy center. If I'm watching a sunset in Minnesota the only thing on my mind is......I gotta get inside before:

a. I freeze to death (winter)
b. I get eaten up (summer).