Practicing Psychotherapy
posted by Stace....
Well, I started a new job on October 16, practicing psychotherapy.
This is what I have wanted to do for oh, 10 years now.
Things seem to be going well with the job, I think I like it. I have to admit though, it's difficult to know how I really feel about the job yet as I despised my last job so much that anything would be an enormous improvement - apart from a slaughter house...
The biggest issue with the new position is my confidence level - which has wavered some recently. I don't know everything (!) - which Kevin would be shocked to hear, I am sure - and that has caused me a great deal of concern and angst. How can I do this job if I don't know everything? While intellectually I understand that - despite my great deficits - I can in fact do quite a fine job knowing what I know, I hit the books. Not only did I hit the books, but I hit Amazon.com in an effort to buy more books. By God, I will know everything one day!!!
Today, on my way to work, full of angst and self doubt, I thought about my lack of confidence.
In an effort to change my negative self talk to more reality-based positive self talk, it occurred to me that maybe there is a reason it's called a "practice". If there were just one theory that fit all, or one treatment that worked for any one person, then it would be easy (bottled and sold at Wal-Mart, no doubt), but instead there are many different theories, treatments, and approaches that work for different people at different times - not unlike other professions in the health field - and it's all about the art of practicing what works, what doesn't, for who, and when. And clearly, no one theorist or psychotherapist/analyst has all of the exactly right answers - how could they, after all - and so we continue to practice.
I felt much better, went to work and did well, and came home feeling victorious.
I will go through the whole thing again tomorrow. But tonight, things are good. Came home, Kevin has to be at work at some insane hour of the morning, so he groggily greeted me as I walked in the door. I tucked him in as he crawled back into bed. He reached down into the cravass of covers and reported, "the longer I am in here, the more of these I find," as he hands me Victor Frankl's book, The Doctor and the Soul.
Well, I started a new job on October 16, practicing psychotherapy.
This is what I have wanted to do for oh, 10 years now.
Things seem to be going well with the job, I think I like it. I have to admit though, it's difficult to know how I really feel about the job yet as I despised my last job so much that anything would be an enormous improvement - apart from a slaughter house...
The biggest issue with the new position is my confidence level - which has wavered some recently. I don't know everything (!) - which Kevin would be shocked to hear, I am sure - and that has caused me a great deal of concern and angst. How can I do this job if I don't know everything? While intellectually I understand that - despite my great deficits - I can in fact do quite a fine job knowing what I know, I hit the books. Not only did I hit the books, but I hit Amazon.com in an effort to buy more books. By God, I will know everything one day!!!
Today, on my way to work, full of angst and self doubt, I thought about my lack of confidence.
In an effort to change my negative self talk to more reality-based positive self talk, it occurred to me that maybe there is a reason it's called a "practice". If there were just one theory that fit all, or one treatment that worked for any one person, then it would be easy (bottled and sold at Wal-Mart, no doubt), but instead there are many different theories, treatments, and approaches that work for different people at different times - not unlike other professions in the health field - and it's all about the art of practicing what works, what doesn't, for who, and when. And clearly, no one theorist or psychotherapist/analyst has all of the exactly right answers - how could they, after all - and so we continue to practice.
I felt much better, went to work and did well, and came home feeling victorious.
I will go through the whole thing again tomorrow. But tonight, things are good. Came home, Kevin has to be at work at some insane hour of the morning, so he groggily greeted me as I walked in the door. I tucked him in as he crawled back into bed. He reached down into the cravass of covers and reported, "the longer I am in here, the more of these I find," as he hands me Victor Frankl's book, The Doctor and the Soul.
posted by Kevin and Stace @ 10:29 PM
1 Comments:
At 2:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
Your piece was a reminder that we are our best teachers. Better than mentors, doctors, bosses, etc. So talking to yourself on the rides to and from work cements our teaching in our brains: "Good job in a difficult moment!" "You screwed that one up goofus! Duh............." Which is to say, Be kind to yourself and celebrate. A misstep simply moves you closer to the truth. So pick some pansies and photo some irises.(sp?) and stroll in the woods. And remember that you are loved.
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