Toad Hollow

Posted by Kevin....

Stace called me in a panic while I was shopping at the sporting goods store:

"I was weed whacking the garden just now and I killed a huge frog and the weed-eater jammed up and I don't know if I can go back out there because it's just horrible this big frog is just sprawled belly up and it's just TERRIBLE and you have to come home right now and remove it."

I absorb the news: "Jammed in what way?"

Stace: "Oh this is really bad. It was a big frog and he's dead. I hit him with the weed-eater"

I lower my voice: "Did anyone see it happen?"

Stace: "I don't know."

Me: "Can you see the body from the street?"

Stace: "I'm serious, he's out there in the sun, his white belly toward the sky. He's probably drying out right now."

Me: "Alright. I'll be home soon."

Upon my arrival home, Stace was sitting on the floor with her knees up to her chest.....rocking gently.

Me: "Sweetie? Can you tell me where the frog is?"

Stace: "On a pile of cut grass....you can't miss it."

As I approached the garden I had to prepare myself for the real possibility that what I was about to see would traumatize me forever......and permanently alter my opinion of my seemingly loving and caring wife. "Who is this woman I share my home with, capable of such atrocity?" I thought out loud.

The macabre scene was reminiscent of a Stephen King novel. There were the sinister looking farm implements scattered in obvious haste and evidence of some sort of upheaval.

Upheaval indeed.

A tormented rake lay near I low pile of freshly cut greens, and a weed-eater, it's still plugged in cord like the tail of some evil, demonic lawn maintenance device.

The stillness belied the tumult of just a hour ago.

But. No frog.

I lift the rake and gently worked the pile of clippings. Then I move into the garden, and overturn the heaps of cut stems.

What sort of sick turn of events is this, that a frog would rise up from such a vicious maelstrom and conceal itself, undoubtedly to haunt us every night for the remainder of our lives with "The Tell-Tale Croak"?

"The frog is okay. You must have knocked it out. He hopped off somewhere."

Stace looked at me. She was relieved.

"Can you mow that area now?" she said.