My son is smarter than your son.

Posted by Kevin.....

All parents think their children are above average intelligence. And of course most parents are wrong.

However, I can say unequivocally that our son, who turns 2 on Friday, has already surpassed the rigorous and highly scientific developmental profiles as set forth by the world renowned child behavioral specialists of Rice County, MN.

Last week, we received a routine questionnaire from the Rice County Dept. of General Nosiness. As part of an on going, seemingly never ending program, the county sends all parents of young children these questionnaires to gauge the developmental progress of it's future property tax payers.

As Stace was filling out the form at the kitchen table, Henry was playing by himself in the living room, quickly sorting and re-sorting all of his toy cars and trucks first by size, than color, make, model, and engine size.

I don't know why I'm doing this, Stace says. Henry is scoring high on all of...... Then Stace came to this question: "Does your child place a shoelace through the eyelets on his/her shoe?" Hmmm. I don't know. We never tried that.

I brought a pair of shoes to Henry and sat next to him. He had just finished lining up all of his toy cars in order of their presumed crash test survivability ratings. I asked him if he could put the shoe lace into the eyelet. He took a moment and studied the task presented him. He gently held the tip of the shoelace and laced it into the eyelet, pulling it through. He then looked at me as if to say "Will there be anything else?" And I was dispatched to locate and return with a cookie.

Another question inquired if our son combines words to make phrases, and if so what are the phrases. Stace wrote down: "Apple juice", "More cookie please", "No thank you", "Bye-bye Daddy", and "When will America wake up and realize we need to come together and fix our health care system in a way that will provide services and dignity to those who can't afford insurance while maintaining a quality of care that is the envy of the world."

Next was a question about how your child plays with his/her toys. When Henry turned 1, a friend of ours gave him an electronic keyboard. It said "3 and up" but we figured he could bang on it and get some enjoyment out of it. However, he not only plays it, I have caught him disassembling it. I now get nervous when I see him walking though the kitchen toward the garage with a cordless drill and a circuit tester. I later discovered that when I pick up his keyboard and play Ode To Joy, the garage door opens.

So I hope Rice County is satisfied that Henry is a happy and healthy little boy, and his Momma and Daddy love him very much, and we engage and challenge each other in a positive way.

Now if you will excuse me, Henry is trying to figure out how to stream YouTube through our TV.