Sending the boys to school

So, I just waved the boys off to school. I stood in the doorway as Kevin hustled them through the blowing snow to the warmed up car.
"Goodbye, I love you," I called.
They shouted out their goodbyes.
"Do you have your pink kitty?" I call to Henry.
Yes, he calls back.

Today is "pink day" in preschool, and each child is to wear something pink, and bring in something pink. Sadly, much to my consternation, we have nothing. This truly disturbs me as Kevin and I really intended to create an environment that was somewhat gender neutral. Well, we certainly didn't despite the dolls that have been given to the boys, despite never dressing the boys in athletic wear that seemed to be made specifically designed for boys in mind, and despite various other things (like trying in vain to stay away from superheroes, focusing on books that promote gender neutral roles, discussing sex roles/questioning such talk, etc.). I always knew that if the boys showed interest in certain things that were primarily geared toward their masculine nature, we would happily go along and encourage whatever it was that they chose - but Kevin and I both agreed that we wouldn't push any one thing.

And we didn't.

Early on, Henry found the love of trucks and vehicles. It was, pretty instantly, love. We certainly never pushed it, and it was his gig - big time, so that was fine. He fell in love with superheroes. Ok. His favorite color is blue (but sometimes it's pink, ironically), and that's fine. He thinks that knights are brave while princesses are not - that bothers me - and I'm pretty sure this thought process comes from what he's learned from being with other kids at school. Still, he's not insanely boy-ish, he loves his stuffed rabbit named "Fluffy", who he calls a girl. He loves books of all kinds, gender neutral or not, with protagonists of both sexes, he has no problem going to school with his pink kitty that he enjoyed as a baby.

And, I'm pleased with the way Henry is. Whether we are doing it "right" or not, I have no idea, but it feels right. We let him choose what he likes, and that's good. Still though, we have no pink.

So, yesterday, frustrated that we had not an inkling of pink on any of their clothing, we set out for Target - wary, knowing that probably we wouldn't find what we were looking for. I found what I expected - a whole lot of pink girl's clothing with sweet and sappy stuff scrawled on the front, or covered with ruffles or glitter. I was hoping against hope that maybe there might be some "pinkish" tee with some fun graphic (a Sesame St character, a silly animal, even a superhero - which is fine now that he is wearing clothing with their graphics) - this is the new thing, I thought maybe I would find something. Nothing.

Finally, I found a Star Wars shirt that was blue and white, with all the characters on it, and 4 of the characters had the color pink on them. Henry knows of Star Wars, but has no further connection with it, and I hesitated, but as you already are aware, my options were nil. We got it.

One of the things that really bugs me about all of this is that there are girls in his class who will undoubtedly have a difficult time trying to choose which pink item to bring to class today, which pink outfit to wear. It sort of drives me nuts that the color of our clothing even matters this much, and that toys are specifically designed for each sex. It just seems ridiculous. Why shouldn't the Batcave include colors other than black and blue? Why not some pastel? Why shouldn't it have some pink on it? Why shouldn't the boys have some pink clothes? He would be beautiful in pink, as would Walter - but the options aren't there. I'm sure that if I searched, I would find alternative colors for the boys to wear, but I would have to search.

I hope that Henry's class talks a little about the color pink and how it's not just a girl's color, I bet it will come up. But, I sort of doubt they'll get into it.